The Side of You That You’ve Been Avoiding—And Why It’s Time to Look

Dear Friend,

I want to share something with you that has been on my heart lately—something that has completely transformed the way I see myself and navigate life. It’s called shadow work, and if you’ve been feeling stuck, unmotivated, or like you’re repeating the same patterns over and over again, this might be exactly what you need to hear.

Let’s be real: we all have parts of ourselves that we’d rather not acknowledge. Maybe it’s an insecurity we try to hide, an old wound we never really healed, or a habit that keeps holding us back. These hidden aspects of ourselves—our fears, doubts, and unresolved pain—are what Carl Jung called our shadow self. Shadow work is the process of bringing those parts to light, facing them with honesty and compassion, and ultimately integrating them so we can grow into the fullest, most authentic version of ourselves.

I know, I know. It doesn’t sound fun. Who wants to look at their deepest fears or the parts of themselves they’re ashamed of? But here’s the thing—when we ignore our shadow, it doesn’t just go away. It lingers beneath the surface, influencing our thoughts, behaviors, and even the way we see the world. That’s why, when we feel stuck, it’s often a sign that there’s some shadow work calling to us.

Think of it like this: if you’ve ever driven with your parking brake on, you know that no matter how much you press the gas, the car struggles to move forward. That’s exactly what happens when we have unresolved emotions or unexamined beliefs weighing us down. Shadow work is about releasing that brake.

So, how do we actually do it?

1. Notice the triggers. The things that annoy, frustrate, or deeply affect us often point to something unresolved within us. Instead of dismissing or avoiding them, we can ask, What is this really bringing up for me?

2. Journal it out. Writing can be a powerful way to explore our shadow self. Try asking yourself, What am I afraid people will find out about me? What parts of myself do I try to hide? and just let yourself write freely.

3. Practice self-compassion. The goal of shadow work isn’t to judge or criticize yourself—it’s to understand and accept all parts of who you are. Healing happens when we meet our shadow with kindness.

4. Pay attention to patterns. If the same situations keep repeating in your life, whether it’s in relationships, work, or self-worth, there’s likely a lesson beneath the surface waiting to be uncovered.

The beauty of shadow work is that it leads to real transformation. When we face the things we’ve been avoiding, we reclaim our power. We free ourselves from old limitations. We step into our wholeness.

And the best part? You don’t have to rush or force it. Your shadow will reveal itself in perfect timing—just be open, be curious, and trust that every step you take toward self-awareness is a step toward freedom.

Sending you so much love on your journey,

Jennifer ❤️❤️