Dear Self, Stop Holding Me Back: A Letter on Overcomming Self-Sabatoge

Dear Beautiful Soul,

Lets have an honest conversation, just you and me. Have you ever felt like no matter how much you want something, you keep getting in your own way? Maybe you procrastinate on important tasks, talk yourself out of good opportunities, or fall into the same unhealthy patterns over and over again. If any of this sounds familiar, I want you to know you're not alone.

This, my friend, is self-sabotage. And the frustrating thing? Most of the time, we don't even realize we're doing it.

What Is Self-Sabotage?

Self-sabotage is when we unconsciously act in ways that prevent us from achieving our goals, feeling happiness, or stepping into our full potential. It's not because we don't want these things, its because, deep down, something in us is afraid of what will happen if we actually get them.

Sounds counterintuitive, right? But our subconscious minds love familiarity, even if that familiarity is struggle, chaos, or limitation. So when we start moving toward success, love, or abundance, an inner part of us panics. It whispers things like:

This is too good to be true.

What if I fail?

What if I succeed?

I don't deserve this.

It's safer to stay where I am.

And just like that, we find ways (big or small) to hold ourselves back.

How You Might Be Unknowingly Engaging in Self-Sabotage

Self-sabotage doesn't always look like dramatic self-destruction. Sometimes, it's quiet and subtle, hiding in behaviors that feel normal. Here are a few sneaky ways it can show up:

🧡 Procrastination: You put off important tasks, waiting for the perfect time that never seems to come.

🧡 Perfectionism: You convince yourself you can't move forward until everything is flawless (which is an impossible standard).

🧡 Negative Self-Talk: You constantly doubt yourself, replaying thoughts that say you're not good enough or capable enough.

🧡 Staying in Unhealthy Relationships or Situations: You settle for less than you deserve because it feels familiar.

🧡Overcommitting & People-Pleasing: You say yes to everything and everyone, leaving no energy for your own goals.

🧡 Avoiding Discomfort: You resist opportunities that stretch you, even when they're exactly what you need to grow.

Any of these sound familiar? If so, don't worry, self-awareness is the first step to breaking the cycle.

How to Overcome Self-Sabotage

Healing self-sabotage isn't about fixing yourself, you're not broken. It's about understanding yourself with love and gently shifting the patterns that no longer serve you.

Here are some steps to start:

1. Get Curious About Your Patterns

Instead of judging yourself, approach your actions with curiosity. When you catch yourself procrastinating or avoiding something, pause and ask: What am I afraid of? What belief is holding me back?

2. Rewrite Your Inner Narrative

Self-sabotage is often rooted in old, limiting beliefs. Start rewriting your inner dialogue with affirmations like: I am capable. I am worthy of success. I trust myself to handle whatever comes my way.

3. Take Small, Courageous Steps

Instead of waiting for confidence to magically appear, take one small action toward your goal. Confidence is built through action, not before it.

4. Practice Self-Compassion

Be kind to yourself. Growth isn't a straight path, and setbacks don't mean you've failed. The more you support yourself with love, the easier it becomes to move forward.

5. Create a Safe Space for Success

Sometimes, self-sabotage happens because success feels unsafe or unfamiliar. Visualize yourself thriving. Journal about what it would feel like to fully step into your highest self. Teach your nervous system that it's safe to succeed.

6. Hold Yourself Accountable (With Love)

Set gentle but firm boundaries with yourself. If you catch yourself making excuses, lovingly remind yourself why you started. Find a friend, mentor, or coach who can support your growth.

7. Celebrate Your Wins (Even the Small Ones!)

Every step forward, no matter how small, is worth celebrating. The more you acknowledge your progress, the more momentum you build.

You Deserve to Thrive

The truth is, you were never meant to live in a cycle of self-doubt and self-sabotage. You were meant to grow, expand, and step fully into the life that's waiting for you.

So, the next time you catch yourself holding back, pause. Take a deep breath. And remind yourself: I am worthy. I am capable. And I am allowed to have the life I desire.

Until next time dear friend,

Jennifer ~ xox!